†40 best things of being a Mascian†

40 Best Things About Being A Mascian
by: Daniel Guevara, IV-Moseley
Have you ever regretted studying in Masci? Have you wondered how your life would be if it weren't for this school? Well, for those of you who can't find enough reasons to celebrate being a Mascian, here are 40 reasons to think otherwise:
1. You study in a school where winning is mandatory and excellence is a tradition to uphold. You should be proud of that. Whatever mistake you commit, you are still regarded as intellectually gifted.
2. Masci is nationally acclaimed. Every victory and triumph of the school is also your success. Where else could you get superlative exaltation for doing absolutely… nothing?
3. You get to be called the hope of the future. Everywhere you turn, you are a hometown hero.
4. You belong to the first ever science high school in the Philippines. You belong to the original. All others are copycats.
5. You enjoy quality education. And that includes truckloads of homework, projects, subject requirements, tests, etc. And who could ever forget those abominable notebooks?
6. You are privileged to have express tickets to the best colleges and universities.
7. You pay nothing to the school. In other words, you're simply a parasitic leech sucking the school's funds dry. So don't ever think you have the right to destroy and ruin other people's lives.
8. You learn to love studying.
9. You look extremely smart to outsiders. People actually believe that Mascians are made out of brains.
10. Masci has "The Nucleus" and "Ang Ubod," the best secondary school papers this side of the planet. No questions asked.
11. Mascians swim exclusively in the "Batis ng Diwa." You get the picture.
12. You learn a lesson or two in life. And that does not include all the shenanigans you pick up in class.
13. Mascians are a diverse bunch of people. The probability of meeting your soul mate and your hell-raiser is high.
14. Masci has a historical artifact, the Bordner Building. Why go to Vigan, Ilocos Sur when you can visit the Bordner Building for that Spanish civilization ambience?
15. You are educated by beautiful, funny, extraordinary, and open-minded teachers. Perhaps that is a bit of an overstatement.
16. Masci has its share of famous alumni. Unfortunately, Mascians who make it to the entertainment industry conceal their identities. They use screen names. Besides, no one will believe your statements when you say a famous celebrity graduated from your school.
17. Mascians have over-supportive and ever so protective parents.
18. Your school is just in front of the Supreme Court and the NBI. Whenever there are protests or rallies, classes tend to be cancelled. Too much noise inhibits learning and gives students a well-deserved break.
19. Mascians are neighbors with students of UP Manila. You are a step away from the premiere university of the nation.
20. Masci is very accessible from anywhere in the metropolis, where most Mascians live. And yet, students still develop the habit of arriving late in school.
21. Mascians are taught foreign languages. You can speak in so many different languages to impress anyone. Even though your statements are completely senseless, no one will ever know.
22. There's always room for improvement in Masci. Cleaning tasks are endless. A dream come true for obsessive-compulsive neat freaks.
23. It's impossible to get lost in Masci. Mascians thus, have a good sense of direction. Or it simply means that the school is too small. Even if you have the world's worst sense of direction, you'll never lose your way in Masci.
24. You are administered with a healthy dose of metropolitan pollution. The spirit of the city will always be with you. Even at your sleep, you will always remember the gagging stench of poisonous gases.
25. Lots of adventures await you. Research work will bring you to places you never dared to go before.
26. Lots of surprises are in store for you. For the first time, you'll get a taste of instant summative tests and sudden mood swings from the teachers.
27. You enjoy freebies. Mascians benefit from exclusive scholarships granted by the top universities in the country as well as in other parts of the globe. They are granted to you and your kind alone.
28. English rooms decorated with Math facts and figures are solely for Mascians' use.
29. Some of the facilities you use today are authentic antiques, which date back in the early 60's. Cobwebs and dust are included.
30. Masci has its share of ghosts, evil spirits, and urban legends. Just try visiting the school at midnight, and you'll experience unspeakable sheer terror. Or better yet, just take a look around your class. You might be surprised to see that your classmates are even creepier than ghouls.
31. Mascians have "up-to-date" facilities. The state of the art equipment outdates even the tools from the Stone Age.
32. Daylight saving time comes to the rescue of Mascians starting November.
33. You have your own zoo. The school has chickens, cats, and fishes. And occasionally, your classmates will turn into the worst kind of pigs and monkeys.
34. You own Paco Park. Mascians are the self-proclaimed owners of the park. Plans for expanding territory are under way.
35. The public announcement system is a laugh riot. Every morning, all of the students' disciplinary problems are broadcasted for the entire universe to hear.
36. The number of rich people among Mascians is increasing. That means more funds and more donations to solicit.
37. You have a Nipa Hut. This makes the school look at more like Old McDonald's farm for kids.
38. There is no limitation in expressing your thoughts. Desks and armchairs are mediums for Mascian communication. The chat room has invaded the classroom.
39. You will never have trouble finding the comfort rooms. The sweet pungent aroma will lead you to its lair.
40. Masci is near Robinsons Place, plain and simple. Need we say more?

Haven' you changed your mind yet? If not, there's nothing else to do but to look for another school. Sorry, your problems are beyond our help.